In the name of respect and care

I so hate this culture of desi house where everyone is sitting on dining table and male of family need anything, water, more food or anything from kitchen, he isn’t supposed to get up and get it but the female is supposed to leave her food in between and get that…..

This was the post I found in a women rights group on Facebook last week with many competing replies, one which get into my mind was from a guy saying that women also don’t need to get up and go 5km away from house and buy something they need, men do that. As the term feminism is spreading its roots in society, everybody is adding his or her problems and objections in it and now the soup is so much sticky that you cannot wash its stains from yourself easily.

Roots of this culture are deep

But the problem is that Unfortunately, I said unfortunately the above post on respective social media group and the comment below it, both are absolutely correct; correct in terms that both elements exist in our society so dominantly and anyone not following them is seemed odd to others. In fact I wanted to reply this commenting guy that why you don’t allow your women to go 5km away to buy something and go to kitchen yourself. What is the problem in this? Does problem lie in exhausting your mother, sister, wife or daughter in public street problem and you don’t want this obviously instead you want her to keep a frustrated heart and silent tongue as she cannot sit calmly for a while, even to eat her meal properly.

We all know that there is some haunting element exists in our air, and majority is infected by it that men will go 5km away three times a day; no one will ask them why you are hurting yourself; what is problem. Take rest. BUT if he is going to kitchen to fill his plate he should be ready to hear every type of comment.  

But relations are not based on rules

In whatever type of happy relation, rules are not made as being a sister, wife, father or husband is not a job or duty, it is relation and relation are based on love, care and respect. Reality is that if you have these three things filled in your heart you can even serve a glass of water to your servant sometimes but if don’t have, you can behave with our beloved one as they are your servants. There is a basic element of humanity in a person should dominate the love for material things. Nowadays, these type of discussions or movements arise and are exploited because we are running for material things in this life. These material things made our lives revolving around earnings and luxuries for which we work hard and compromise on easily available LOW-COST moments. For example, to ignore your family for the sake of earning so that you can go to world tour is not better than going to the park in your colony and play with your kids. Similar case is in the concept of feminism; you can do job irrespective to your gender, but not at cost of ignoring that your family, your kids and friends are the people from where you get happiness; Your bank account can never replace them.

Feminism should be a culture

Feminism is needed to be impart in our culture but it would be more easy if we learn to respect every human being otherwise I think we will have to start separate movements for rights of servants, labor, children and even for elders; This mutual love and care relationship can solve our all problems and if men will not do weird things with women outside their homes then girls will not need to fight with your relatives to go 5km away from their homes and if you respect your wife’s choice and needs then she will not insist on doing job, if she insist, she will definitely reply your kids with proper time and care, not in the name of responsibility but in the name of mutual love and respect. In clear words it means to give other person’s opinion and choice more importance so that he or she will reply you with same.

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  1. Agree with you. Relationships are so important, and if a family is truly compassionate then gender roles should be ignored, and instead the template of the family should be outlined by this instead. Don’t know if this makes sense, sorry.

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